Why Don’t More Men Ask for Help?

With a society based on distinction and independence, it might seem odd to expect men to look for ways to ask for help and receive the support they need. An authorized survey by the Mental Health Foundation discovered a third of women than a quarter of men had spoken to their family or friends regarding their mental health issues, which means that men are less likely to seek professional assistance and disclose their problems.

There are several reasons men do not ask for help on physical, emotional, and mental matters. Some of them are the following:

1. Men Don’t Want to Appear Needy.

One of the significant reasons why it is hard for men to seek help is because they don’t want to look and sound needy to their family and friends. They think that they may bother or put someone out if they ask for help.

However, you must know that many people are much willing to extend a helping hand. You don’t realize it unless you look at your surroundings. 

2. Men Don’t Want Judgment.

Men do not ask for help because they believe that they can get judged or experience some judgment. The societal definitions that they are used to while growing up are their basis for their sense of identity. Boys see that there is a high cost if they step outside of that accustomed definition.

This condition remains with them even they become adults. As an outcome, men have feared any questioning regarding their manliness.

Moreover, a study shows that individuals think less of men than women when they ask for help. At some point, gender and cultural stereotypes are factors that contribute.

3. Thinks that Sharing their Struggles is a Weakness

Another reason why it is difficult for men to call for help is weakness. They think that sharing their struggles may imply that they are weak, and others assume they would be broken. Since they are adults, the typical mentality would be they must instantly know how to deal with the situation. 

Many men do not want to acknowledge or admit that they are clueless about what to do. Psychology Today’s article stated that Christopher Flett’s book claims that men do not often show emotions. 

4. The Code of Men

A code of conduct comes with being a man, which implies that you should live up to your society’s expected identity with yourself. This code was made even before you came into this world, and it identifies how men should act or behave. It says the do and don’ts and what the results would be if you can’t play along.

In history, men did not express their emotions, and that stigma still exists today. They portrayed that “real men” do not complain regarding their physical, emotional, and financial dilemmas. They only swallow it and figure it out themselves. 

Having that man code or the notion of what it is to be a man influences your habits, language, and actions. It even resulted in men having difficulty with describing their true feelings to others. 

5. They Don’t Want to Gain Accountability.

Accountability is another reason that men are hesitant to ask for help. They are aware that they need help, but they might not be ready to face its responsibility yet. Even yourself, you may think that if you reveal your issues, you are melting down your walls and letting someone in, which causes them to ask about your progress in that matter. 

Several men conceal their problems because they believe that they have the liberty to do or act whatever they want by doing so. However, they wish they were untied from that dilemma emotionally.

6. Financial Considerations

The family’s financial security is the top priority in a man’s list, and that is no secret at all. However, this notion makes acknowledging the value of solving a personal challenge difficult. In other words, some men would prioritize his family’s needs over his. 

But you need to realize that asking for a professional’s help is a financial investment for you and your family’s well-being. 

Bottom Line

Research has discovered that some men have a more challenging time creating social connections. A podcast from the American Psychological Association even talks about masculinity’s impact on your mental health. 

With this being said, remember not to be too hard with yourself because society is not asking men to put their hearts on their sleeves. Voicing out that you need help eventually shows your strength and confidence as an individual. It is high time that you recognize emotional, mental, and physical problems are not meant to be tackled with only yourself. 


  1. 3 Reasons Why Men Don’t Ask For Help. (2019, June 05). Retrieved November 04, 2020, from https://theinspiringmenproject.com/reasons-men-dont-ask-help/
  2. Man 2.0 – A New Definition For What It Means To Be A Man. (2018, September 21). Retrieved November 04, 2020, from https://theinspiringmenproject.com/what-it-means-to-be-a-man/
  3. Men’s Mental Health: Why is it Hard for Men to Ask for Help? (2017, March 19). Retrieved November 04, 2020, from https://isaiahcounselingandwellness.com/mens-mental-health-why-is-it-hard-for-men-to-ask-for-help/
  4. Campbell, L. (2019, June 30). How Mental Health Stigma Affects Men. Retrieved November 04, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health-news/how-can-we-reduce-mens-mental-health-stigma

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