Ways to Tell If Someone Is Gaslighting You

Being gaslighted is a traumatic experience. However, most times, the person does not know they are being gaslit. 

If someone you know repeatedly tells you statements that question your memory or perception, that person might be gaslighting you. With this, it is especially helpful to see the warning signs of gaslighting. 

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological term coined from Gas Light, a 1938 stage play. Gaslighting, according to The Hotline, is a form of emotional abuse. It is when the victim questions their knowledge, including their feelings and memories. Moreover, abusers have a lot of power over their victims. 

Most times, gaslighting leads the victim to question their own sanity. 

Gaslighting can be intentional or not. It is a form of manipulation that can be seen in many relationships and even within the family. However, according to Healthline, the most detrimental form of gaslighting happens between a couple. 

The Effects of Gaslighting

Since gaslighting is a traumatic experience, it might lead the victim to do things out of their own will. Some victims even seek constant validation.

Aside from questioning their own thoughts and perception, victims of gaslighting also experience these painful signs.

  • You question yourself.
  • You ask yourself if you are overly-sensitive.
  • You feel confused and out of your mind.
  • You constantly apologize to the person.
  • You constantly cover up the person’s bad side.
  • You feel indecisive about a lot of things.
  • You think you are always wrong.
  • You keep secrets from friends and family to avoid confrontation about the person.
  • You feel like you are always at fault.
  • You isolate yourself from friends and family.
  • You often feel hopeless.
  • You find little to no happiness from the things you used to enjoy.
  • You think of cutting ties with friends and family.
  • You feel like you are not good enough.

If you experience any of these, the person is probably gaslighting you.

Gaslighting Warning Signs

People who gaslight have so much power over their victims. They know how and when to push your buttons. Moreover, abusers who gaslight know how to use what they know about you against you.

Here are some of the things you have to look out for if you think someone is gaslighting you.

  • The person trivializes your feelings. “You are way too sensitive.”
  • The person makes you think other people backstab you. “They talk about you. They think you are crazy.”
  • The person takes back what they said before and denies saying it. “I did not say I would go to the bank. What are you talking about?”
  • The person hides things from you and denies their knowledge about it. “You cannot find your keys again? That is alarming.”
  • The person makes you think you were or were not someplace even when it is not true. “You did not go with me to see that movie. You are crazy.”
  • The person makes you believe they do not understand what you are saying. 
  • The person does not listen to you. “I do not want to hear about this again.”
  • The person makes you question your knowledge about things that happened, even when you remember them accurately. “You said that! I heard you say it!”
  • The person makes you believe they have forgotten what happened. “No, that did not happen. What are you saying?”

People who use gaslighting use your “mistakes” against you to pose themselves as the victim. They may claim things like you are out of control and may accuse you of being the gaslighter. 

How to Fight Gaslighting

If you have spotted the warning signs given above, you might be a victim of gaslighting. It is essential to know that the first step to fight your abuser is to recognize that gaslighting exists. 

Moreover, it will be easier to seek help and leave. If you are a victim of gaslighting, here are some things you can do to protect yourself.

  • Do not hold yourself responsible for the person’s doings.
  • Do not sacrifice yourself to protect their feelings.
  • Do not forget your truth.
  • Ensure that your safety is prioritized.
  • Remember that you are not alone. 

Conclusion

Gaslighting is a traumatic event that can scar someone for the rest of their life. However, know that it is not impossible to break free from your abuser. If you or someone you know is a victim of gaslighting, immediately seek help.

References: 

Gaslighting. (n.d.). Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/gaslighting

Morris, S. (2017, April 01). Gaslighting: Signs and Tips for Seeking Help. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting

What is Gaslighting? (n.d.). Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-gaslighting/


Tips to Maximize Productivity When You Have ADHD

Having ADHD makes it difficult for a person to pay attention and control impulsive behaviors, but it does not kill productivity. Although it can be hard to concentrate, a study has proven that there are people with ADHD who became successful in their professions. If you have the same sentiments, worry less as there are various tips on maximizing productivity and reducing procrastination.

ADHD and Its Types

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), common in children, makes it difficult for a person to pay attention and control impulsive behaviors. Its symptoms include hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, and procrastination.  As misdiagnosis often happens, it is essential to know what ADHD is by taking an ADHD test and seeking proper medical attention. Here are the different types of ADHD.

  • Predominantly Inattentive Type: This type is prevalent among adults, where six or more symptoms from the inattention category and less than six symptoms from the hyperactive-impulsive category.
  • Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: Individuals diagnosed in this type shows six or more hyperactive-impulsive category symptoms and fewer than six inattention type symptoms.
  • Combined Type: This type is typical in children, exhibiting both six or more symptoms of the inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive type.

Causes and Symptoms of ADHD

Causes of ADHD involve inherited genes, maternal environment, food additives, or brain injury. Its common symptoms concern the three main areas of behavior and thinking: inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, consistently experienced for at least six months. If a person has ADHD, he/she must have at least six or more of the following:

  • Makes careless mistakes due to lack of close attention to details
  • Difficulty in paying attention
  • Failing to follow instructions or meet deadlines
  • Difficulty in organizing tasks
  • Avoiding tasks requiring sustained attention
  • Always loses things
  • Can’t do things quietly
  • Often on-the-go
  • Blurts out answers
  • Difficulty to wait for the turn
  • Interrupts conversations

Existing Treatments for ADHD

ADHD has treatments using a combined approach of medications and psychotherapy (coaching). Medicines reduce the symptoms, while psychotherapy works to lead the person to a better living despite the disorder.

How to Maximize Productivity When You Have ADHD

As ADHD has become more widespread, people diagnosed with it must learn and cope with a world that adversely distracts them. Through the use of modern technologies, endless diversions for ADHD cases are just a few clicks away. For people with ADHD, here are some tips to limit distractions and increase your focus.

Low Information Diet

If obese and malnourished people need a diet, so do the people with ADHD. However, their diet is more on lessening distractions caused by external information they consume. Low information diet deals with maximizing output and minimizing input.

Inputs include watching the television or surfing the internet, while outputs are what you get done. Turning the phone on airplane mode, deleting apps, and downloading non-disruptive apps like Newsfeed Eradicator are a few ways to lessen exposure to concentrate on more significant matters. There also other applications made for better time management, which can be helpful for ADHD cases.

Move Now, Focus Later

Moving earlier than the scheduled time gives more time to release energy that causes fidgeting. ADHD people may find power in sequence and coordinated movements.

Use Organization Apps

As mentioned earlier, there are applications that ADHD people can use to manage their time better. From calendar tools to sleeping-aid apps, automated technology allows people to stay organized even with hectic schedules.

“Two-Minute” Rule for Procrastinators

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, wrote in a Lifehack post about the two-minute rule to overcome procrastination tendencies. It means that “if a task takes less than two minutes, do it right now.”

This mindset prevents short tasks from piling up that result in an overwhelming to-do list later on. For big projects, do one small component that you can finish immediately, then slowly get the concentration ball rolling.

Conclusion

Getting diagnosed with ADHD is not the end of life. It is a matter of a person’s willingness to use this condition to his advantage and cope with this world full of distractions. Utilize today’s technological advancements and pair them with your dedication to living better.

Citations:

Clear, J. (2013, June 06). How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the “2-Minute Rule”. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-stop-procrastinating-and-stick-good-habits-using-the-2-minute-rule.html

Palmini, A. (2008, January). Professionally successful adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Compensation strategies and subjective effects of pharmacological treatment. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5619157/

Tartakovsky, M. (2020, July 01). Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Fact Sheet. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/adhd/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-fact-sheet/

Team, P. (n.d.). ADHD Test – Scientific 2 Minute Quiz for ADHD & ADD. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/adhd-quiz/

Tivers, E., & Tivers, E. (2020, October 09). The Apps and Tools That Run My ADHD Life. Retrieved November 26, 2020, from https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-apps-tools-time-management-productivity/

Disclaimer: The information contained in this site is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in this site without seeking legal or other professional advice. The contents of this site contain general information and may not reflect current legal developments or address your situation. We disclaim all liability for actions you take or fail to take based on any content on this site.


Things You Didn’t Know About Dating With Depression

Depression is a real illness. And if you’re someone who’s struggling from it, there are high chances of mixed disturbances and unanswered questions. But how’s it like to be in a relationship while you’re under medication? Every experience of a person is unique, but here is some common encounter you might anticipate. Recognizing the following would allow you to understand and recover from it.

Low Libido & Intimacy Issues 

Sexual desires are essential to romantic relationships. Although it’s sometimes normal to experience a rare initiative, it’s not as extended caused by extreme stress and sadness. Depression reduces the energy of a person towards various activities. It could impact the quality of dating your partner.

You may be in love with someone, but you would not feel intimate like you ought to. Your partner could perceive this as a lack of interest, so you might want to sit and discuss it. Discover ways on how to boost sexual connection that would make you feel relieved. 

Uncertainty About the Relationship

Other people feel overwhelmed about their future. However, depression causes self-doubt and insecurities. It affects how you perceive your relationship with your partner. And if not addressed, uncertainties would arise. It tricks you into believing that the relationship is not worthwhile, thinking you are underserving. 

Moreover, a sense of hopelessness towards your future together is induced by suicidal factors. There’s a cognitive distortion that manipulates you to imagine negatively about certain aspects. Aside from treatment, the most dependable approach to feel assured in your relationship is to remember you are loved and supported.

Anxiety even when Together

Although many people believe that being with the right person calms themselves, there is no exemption for individuals who suffer from depression. Anxiety and stress are highly comorbid, and problems with concentration and energy arise. 

The neurotransmitters are determined to make you feel down every time. Meaning, you would get anxious about almost everything—your partner’s reaction, other people’s perspective of you when together, etc. There are also possibilities of being hypersensitive when attempting to express emotions. It would seem like the chances are ricked fronting a bond where depression is involved. 

Last Minute Cancelation of Plans

Sometimes, things are overwhelming, and you would not be able to comply with the planned trips. Depressed ones usually worry and often make it hard for them to process situations. 

It would be frustrating, but your partner ought to understand that pressure would make scenarios worst. You might encounter saying “yes” to dinner and journeys beforehand, but you could also cancel it at the last minute due to factors. It takes practice and behavioral therapies to overcome troubles, reduce, and challenge them.

Communication Sometimes Feel Impossible

While communication is an integral aspect of establishing relationships, depression makes it complicated to sustain it. Those who have mental illness are overwhelmed by their symptoms to the point of not having enough energy to communicate with others.

Sometimes, presence and understanding are enough. But people have to address and treat the illness. You have to break down and recognize the triggers to ease the pain. Talking about what your partner feels would enable progress in making sure you are heard. 

There are Different Versions of Normal

Considering people have attained standards on what is normal dating, it may vary from depressed individuals. Every day they go through episodes and instability. So the recognition of ideals matters to make the relationship work. Some factors in life need alternations in terms of dating.

It is important to be open about what makes you comfortable and not. There is no perfect relationship, and we all have our expectations. But you will learn that someone is the right person if they could deal with both party’s lifestyle and schedule.

Standard Ways of Relationship Applies

Indeed, there are some things people ought to learn about dating with depression. However, individuals are more than their illnesses. We do not label them merely as is it. As a partner who suffers from it, you have to make it work with the acknowledgment of conventional relationship rules.

Depressed individuals are capable of things. And the core of the relationship should matter, including faithfulness and good balance. Treating others the right way is necessary. You would get the attention you earn. Additional support and erasing stigma are some of the solutions in establishing a strong and lasting bond.

References:

Clinic, M. (2020, November 16). Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression. Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://mindsightclinic.com/blog/depression/things-you-didnt-know-about-dating-with-depression/

Kolakowski, S. (2014, March 06). The Warning Signs That Depression is Affecting Your Relationship. Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/mind-guest-blog/the-warning-signs-that-depression-is-affecting-your-relationship/

Relationships and depression. (n.d.). Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/mental-health/relationships-and-depression

Schimelpfening, N. (2020, August 03). 7 Facts Everyone Should Know About Depression. Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-facts-you-should-know-1067617

Stephens-Tolstoy, F. (2018, July 08). The Top 5 Realities of Dating Someone With a Mental Illness. Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-top-5-realities-of-dating-someone-with-a-mental-illness/

Tartakovsky, M. (2018, July 08). How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can Do. Retrieved November 20, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-depression-damages-your-relationship-what-you-can-do/

Disclaimer: The information contained in this site is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in this site without seeking legal or other professional advice. The contents of this site contain general information and may not reflect current legal developments or address your situation. We disclaim all liability for actions you take or fail to take based on any content on this site.


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